Omaha Relationship Counseling Blog

Ambiguity in Communication–Some Thoughts and a Response

Consider the following writing from an individual about ambiguity and then clarity in communication and counseling.  I’ll comment at the end:

Ambiguity in communication is an indispensable aspect in marital counseling.

I have experienced several vital matters throughout the period I provided counseling in Omaha. These issues usually arise from married couples, work group, and none traditionally married couple and so on. Couples discuss these matters in a therapy session, and they often refer to their experiences outside their office environment. The scenario is described as the importance of “good interaction or bad interaction” and ambiguity in communication is the cause of it. Various aspects of spousal communication need to be improved upon; being certain and precise are a few of the issues that couples are advised to tackle. This would reduce the argument and create a strong relationship. I spend a few times every week, offering counseling services, where I noticed the arguers making frantic effort, though without sarcastic tones, trying to make a meaning out of what he or she has just said and what he understands the other person has said. Let me say that as soon as this happens again, I would point it out, and label it as an important thing that has just happened. I subtly maintained that simplicity helps to discover solutions and can put an end to a crisis; it could shift the ground of argument. I have made out a few times counseling couples just to make everybody understand things that were just said. We try to clarify whether the partners understand what was just said by asking, “Do you mean that you do not hear what I said well” or “do you mean you can no longer tolerate this.”

Clarity is a very important lesson which every couple must learn in a counseling session.

Clarity the basic skill to master in couples counseling.

You can improve your life and improve your communication, even in a situation of argument by being clear about what you say. You can apply the principle of clarity to avert conflict by understanding how to ask what the other person means, or understanding how much you have hurt the other person, and by tendering your apology and by saying I am not doing much here. All these need to be said without sarcasm or they won’t be effective. You can say something like “what do you want from me to make you happy,” “what is that you want from me.” This could put an end to any argument. You can put an end to the argument by saying something like “I do not think I am understood.” The chances are there that your partner may not understand you very well, and the implication of this is that your communication is misunderstood, and you need to make yourself clear. You must not participate in couples counseling to employ these tools to your advantage and improve your relationship. To make it clearer to you, if you strive to be precise, you can solve any type of argument. There could be several other hindrances, which could obstruct conflict resolution, but you are getting to the end of the conflict when you are certain, and this would make the other person understand you better. This would help you to grow your relationship.

RGK’s comments:

Ambiguity and clarity are important, but in some of your writing it doesn’t seem that you know a lot about what you are saying, you just assert it.  For example, to say, “… if you strive to be precise, you can solve any type of argument.”  I do not find that to be true.  Being clearer often helps with communication and can, sometimes, decrease conflict, but it does not, in my opinion, guarantee a solution.