Tidying Up the Home and the Relationship?
Do you have an interest in a very alternate form of couples therapy? If so, you might want to catch
Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (Netflix). In watching the first two episodes, it was evident that in showing the results of Marie helping each couple to tidy up their home, she also helped the relationship. In the first one, she even commented that there is some stress in the relationship, and in the second couple, though they seem to have a very good relationship in the beginning, one can see some stress come out as they get into the process of tidying up.
Tidying Up and Couples Therapy
Not Couples Therapy But…
Be assured that Marie does not claim to be doing couples therapy. She is all about tidying up. But she also has a big heart and she seems to genuinely care about the couples (and in eventual episodes, individuals as well) that she works with. Her caring about them, her positive attitude towards them, her not being critical of them but also nudging and moving them towards something positive are all things that happen in couples therapy and are actions better couples therapists are doing also. So she is not doing couples therapy, or is she?
What Does It Take to Do Couples Therapy?
In name, she is not doing couples therapy. In practice, she is helping the couples tidy up their place. But in practice she is doing a number of the same things that better couples therapists do that bring about change. She is about getting change and helping the couple get there. So in name she is not doing couples therapy. But she is practicing many of the actions that work, and she is getting some of the same results.
So What Does She Do As a “Couples Therapist”?
She does many of the same things that better couples therapists do: she establishes rapport, or a good relationship, right from the start. She has a willing couple to do the work, which is often true (but not always) in couples therapy. She is non-judgemental of them, she doesn’t take sides and makes both do their work, she works to stay positive in the midst of difficulties. Better therapists sometimes self-disclose or say a bit about how they are similar, and she does that, and not too much of it. Whether it is couples therapy or tidying up, it can be helpful to be a real person and she does that well.
She Has a Couple Advantages Over Couples Therapists
Many couples therapists might, with some couples, be able to be even more successful if they had a couple of things that Marie has. One is that it is done in front of cameras, putting pressure on the couple to perform, to get the work done, to cooperate. A second is that the couples have been selected to be on the show, and it is pretty safe to say that the producers are not picking failures. I haven’t watched the whole series, so I don’t know if she shows any failures.
So, Should We Tidy Up to Make Our Marriage Better?
I wouldn’t hurt one bit. It might help to watch the show. It might help you to work together with a goal that works for both of you. It would help to watch her show and see how the couples treat each other and work on improvement.
If Tidying Up Doesn’t Help Our Marriage?
Then it is time to consider a quality couples therapist.
Couples Omaha – Dr. Robert G. Kraft – Licensed Psychologist in Omaha, NE
Dr. Robert G. Kraft is a career psychologist in Omaha, NE. He earned his doctorate, as well as his bachelors and masters before that, from the University of Nebraska at Lincoln, and has practiced in Nebraska ever since.
As well as maintaining his practice, Dr. Kraft is an Associate Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the Creighton University School of Medicine, where he teaches residents about psychotherapy.
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