Prospective clients call or email me (through the secure & private contact form) and ask about couples counseling in Omaha – or marital counseling, family or sometimes relationship counseling. Sometimes the caller uses the term therapy instead of counseling, but they all seem to have the same desire: to get help with a relationship, whether they are married or not.
So, in one way, they are all the same. They usually come with the same kinds of issues, that is – some type of struggle with a relationship. As the person tells me more about the relationship (or the couple, or the married spouses) I can begin to help them with their issue, whatever it is, or refer them on to someone else if I am not the right person to help them.
Each couples counseling situation is unique, bringing unique problems and issues, and I’m always careful to listen to couples as they tell me about their unique problems and concerns. But we’re all human beings, looking for the same general thing from relationships, and requesting the same thing when problems arise. and I can begin to use what I know about relationships to help them.
This blog is going to be about couples counseling (and marital therapy, family, relationship counseling, etc.) and what happens in this type of therapy.
There are a number of issues that come up rather consistently. When I was in graduate school, another student told me that there were four types of problems couples will bring to therapy: money, kids/parenting, the larger family (in-laws), and sex. I shrugged that suggestion off — I had not read about those four issues being the “big four” anywhere and didn’t know if it was true.
It sounded good, but so do a lot of things people say. But as I have worked in marriage, relationship and couples counseling over the years, I have found that there is a lot of truth what my fellow student told me. Those are the issues that people most often come to see me about, and they are issues we can make progress on if both are willing to work.
There is another issue that couples come with, perhaps a fifth, and it is often hidden (but not always). Sometimes the relationship is coming to end, no matter what the problems behind that are. When one is really on the way out, we can often get work done, but we cannot always save the marriage (or relationship if they are not married) because that is not what they have both come for.
I’ll write more soon – I hope your relationships are growing,
– Dr. Bob Kraft