Do you have an interest in a very alternate form of couples therapy? If so, you might want to catch Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (Netflix). In watching the first two episodes, it was evident that in showing the results of Marie helping each couple to tidy up their home, she also helped the relationship. In the first one, she even commented that there is some stress in the relationship, and in the second couple, though they seem to have a very good relationship in the beginning, one can see some stress come out as they get into the process of tidying up.
It often becomes a very important part of couples work for each individual to get their own act together, to become healthier, to become healthier apart from the partner (become differentiated) and to become healthier in being with the partner (to grow intimacy and vulnerability in relationship with the partner). Both are required for making things go well with a couple, being healthier apart from your partner and being healthier with your partner.
Like is the case with any relationship, partners looking for couples counseling in Omaha often have problems with getting into fights. These can escalate into name-calling, dragging up old grievances, getting defensive and a slew of other ways of keeping each other from resolving issues. Lingering anger and resentment, illnesses, communication problems, sexual and monetary issues can all make relationships hard to stick with. Couples often both end up being right (or thinking they are both right) but most couples don’t know how to move beyond the impasse of both being right.
Calling a prospective couples therapist can cause bit of anxiety—it is someone you don’t know, you are asking for their time, and you are going to be trusting that person with something that is very important and you are not doing well with. People often ask a friend or confidant or a professional for the name of someone to call. You are putting your relationship between you and your partner into their hands.
The answer is “it depends.” It depends on if your partner is working too, and if the two of you want to make the relationship work. If both of you work on:
The theme for my sessions today seems to be, “this is hard,” but not just the couples therapy, but also the part about working out being a couple outside of couples therapy. Multiple couples have come to that conclusion today, and I have agreed with them. But that doesn’t mean that it is easy to not do the hard work. Oh, in some ways it is easier to not work on something, but what is the cost?
I try not, as a rule, not to talk much about myself or my relationship with my partner in my couples therapy sessions as a psychologist or even in writing about couples therapy. But I found myself building on something in a session with a couple, building on an issue that was happening in the couples therapy that also has happened at home, so I used an example from home and brought it into the couples therapy.
Everyone knows relationships are difficult, but it’s easy to feel like your relationship is really hard — like your partner is the first partner in history to nag or nitpick or leave dishes in the sink and expect you to clean them.
If you are: